![]() ![]() To test their willingness to live amid crowds of swarming flies and growing mold. But we’re notoriously inconsistent with things like withholding allowance, and unwilling We considered (briefly) leaving the table and kitchen to fester until they noticed. Cleaning the kitchen could indeed be their job, but getting them to do it had to be ours. It was that I expected them to do it without prompting, even though the kitchen would still get cleaned with no repercussions for them if they failed My mistake wasn’t that I expected the kids to do the work. I had to to go to the bathroom, a trick my children now employ regularly.) But in my memory, I did it anyway, at least some of the time. I also know that I never, ever actually wanted to do it. I know I was capable of cleaning a kitchen by the time I was 12. We were never going to be happy parents as long as we were the only worker Like “When you’re done, will you help me find my blue plaid shorts? Did you do the laundry?” is downright soul-crushing. ![]() Washing while the people who sullied them lean on the counter saying things Washing dishes will never be particularly fun. They already have no free time, should we make them spend what little there is up to their elbows in soap suds? ![]() Kids have so much homework, and so many hours of sports and piano practice and whatnot — burdens that seem to develop at right about the moment children grow capableĮnough to wash dishes and mow lawns. Sometimes we have good reason, or think we do. To do around the house when we were children. Joy and No Fun,” they’re economically worthless but emotionally priceless, and many parents don’t just do the work of raising them, we also do the work our own parents might have expected us Today, as Jennifer Senior made so gloriously clear in “All After a certain number, their utility around the house and farm outweighed their marginal cost. There was a time when children were an economic asset. “Fox Trot.” When did they score the cushy white-collared side of this deal, and why? We became snarly and resentful parents as we washed pans nightly while our children turned their delicate, uncalloused hands to their homework or rereading volumes of In the long run, it’s a different picture. In the short run, it was always easier to do it ourselves than to endlessly harangue He likes to clean up before bed rather than after dinner we hollered at the kids through every step of the process until we gave up. And we expected to spend a few weeks coaching everyone through it.īut months after we instituted the new system, the kitchen was still being cleaned in one of three ways, presented here in order of frequency: My husband did it I did it because I wanted to cook something else and We expected to be helping more when kitchen cleanup fell to our two 8-year-olds. Table, load the dishwasher, feed the cat, feed the dog. We set up a rotating set of duties: clear the Last fall, I set a goal: After dinner, my husband and I should be able to sit down and relax while our children (almost 13, almost 10, and two age 8) clean the kitchen. ![]()
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